the story told in ink..."the LORD is the everlasting god"

tattoo number three i got about a month ago. its on my right ankle and is a swirly vine with the words 'el olam' on it. el olam is hebrew for GOD EVERLASTING, and in the last six months the reality of God being everlasting has become very real and very tangible.

december last year, i found myself sitting across from my doctor. i had just had an ultrasound, and she looked at the results and said "you have a tumour". according to the scan, the tumour was in my lower right abdomen. no further details could be determined, other than its size - 10x10x12cm. my doctor then went on to tell me everything from the best case scenario to the worst case scenario.

up until this moment, i had lived a pretty charmed life, but when i was listening to what my doctor was saying, my world just blew out from underneath me. i wanted and hoped for my situation to land somewhere in the 'best case scenario' range, but i couldn't help but think and dwell on the information surrounding the worst case scenarios. all of a sudden i was seeing all the dreams, hopes, ambitions and desires for my future being held to ransom and under threat. my future now had the possibility of cancer in it...and all that it entails.

my journey took a detour, and i started to walk some of the darkest days of my life as i was doing all i can to process and deal with this information and understand the impact it could have on my life. on top of my own circumstance, it seemed like everywhere i looked i was seeing people i love and adore also come under fire, and experiencing incredible trials of their own. it was here that i asked my pastor's wife, "how do you continue to endure when you are facing tragedy head on?" she is an amazing, inspiring lady who has been walking through her own cancer reality for ten years. she turned to me and without a second thought she said "you look to the cross. it is the only thing that makes sense when the world doesn't". my mind immediately went to one of my favourite worship songs written by tim hughes, clinging to the cross, and it became my anthem in the mayhem:

simply to the cross i cling

letting go of all earthly things
clinging to the cross
mercy’s found a way for me
hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
clinging to the cross

it was at the foot of the cross where i found the peace i needed when my world was stormy and shattered. when i turned to God, He hemmed me in before and behind and enabled me with everything i needed to walk through this particular valley journey rejoicing in Him.

in a time where i was vulnerable, and my path could have turned to bitterness, anger and complete brokeness, God shielded me in His love, and instead i experienced hope, joy and restoration. a passage in the bible that was a source of truth for me throughout this was isaiah 40 vs 28-31:

do you not know?
have you not heard?
the LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

this verse was such a source of comfort for me. it comforted me as i had blood tests, was scanned and was examined to find out more about the nature of this tumour. late december i had my first appointment with the hospital to discuss the results of all these tests and to determine what needed to be done.

again i found myself sitting across from a doctor, but this time, instead of my world blowing out from underneath me, as he spoke i found myself soaring on wings like eagles. he told me that due to all my tests coming back normal, my age, and not having any history of ovarian cancer in my family, they were confident that my tumour was benign - a result that landed smack bang in the 'good case scenarios'. i still had to have surgery, due to the size of the tumour, but that would be the extent of my treatment.

so on january 20th, i had surgery to remove the tumour, and now have a 22cm scar to tell the story. i've been a christian since i was seven, and since then God has continued to draw me closer to Him, and it has been through these last few months that have i experienced His love tangibly as He walked with me through the fire.

God is everlasting...He always has been, is now and will always be. with each day i'm drawn closer to Him. i've experienced His victory tangibly in my life and i rejoice in His faithfulness to me, and because of His great love for me, i know there is more of it to come...

- signed

~ the life delighter ~

the story told in ink..."you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"

tattoo number two. i got about two years ago. the word truth on my right wrist with the reference of john 8vs32 "you will know the truth and the truth will set you free".

this tattoo bookmarks an incredible moment in my life. about 4-5 years ago, i was at a weekend conference and found myself in an elective called 'for girls only'. the elective was facilitated by a lady who works closely with women in counselling and encouragement. her main focus topic was 'the power of the spoken word'. she related to us a story about a lady she had worked with, who from an early age was called some terrible, degrading names by her father. it got to the point that this particular lady heard these words so often and from a significant person in her life that she actually started believing these lies as truth, something that had a drastic effect on her relationships in the future.

the speaker then encouraged us to think about our own lives and challenge us to identify a time when a lie had been spoken over us. my mind found itself back 10 years prior. i was at the wedding reception for my sister and her husband, and my dad was doing his speech and he finished with honouring my sister with these words "you are our daughter in whom we are real blessed". now my dad hadn't said anything wrong, he was simply showing his and my mum's love for my amazing sister, but it was in that moment, the enemy twisted the words spoken by my dad and poisoned them by taunting me with "your dad has NEVER said that about you".

i never realised the effect this had on me until that day at the conference. i suddenly became aware of the moments in my life where i wanted to mirror my sister's life...i wanted to experience all that she had with her own life, to show the world that i can do things as good as her...a pursuit that lasted 10 years.

the speaker then gave us some pointers about what we can do to remove the lie and the power it yielded over our lives. i took these on board and when the elective finished i found a close friend, who also attended the same elective, and had an encounter with truth and we both shared what was on our hearts and spent a beautiful time in prayer.

that night at the main session, i had the most incredible experience. for so many years God had been aching to show me His truth in my life, and during the worship time, the truth gates opened and He poured out all of its loveliness into my life, and freedom was mine. i had a precious friend then turn to me and say "i feel as though God wants you to know that He loves YOUR colour"...my colour! not me-mimmicking-others colour, but MY colour.

a bonus in all this, was the next morning in the main session, all the songs that were sung were songs that have played a significant role in my journey. God gave me an incredible gift in that time and took me for a walk down my memory's lane, but now i was able to do so with His truth fortified in my heart, and together we exchanged the years tainted with lies with new, truth-filled memories.

God has written a story only for me, but for 10 years i was reading my sister's story and trying to make it like my own...it was here that i finally opened my story and started reading. as i read, God started birthing in me my own hopes, dreams and ambitions. i saw His glorious truth and it set me free to experience the awesome story written for me. a story that i'm delighting in. a story that i see the beauty and wonder of the Creator woven through its pages everyday. a story that will lead me to the most wonderful happily ever after - me delighting in His presence for eternity.

i'm grateful that God pursued me with His truth and i know He hasn't stopped here. there is more, much more to come...

- signed

~ the life delighter ~

the story told in ink..."the joy of the LORD is my strength"

i am the bearer of three tattoos. each of which are bookmarks of a particular chapter in my life. my first one i got about four years ago. the chinese symbol for joy decorates my left foot.

this chapter of my life had pages filled with confusion, heartache and disappointment. life had thrown some hard times my way and i had some very huge decisions to make.

my ability to 'run the race' was under threat. i had people openly and deliberately attack my 'ministry' to the point where i was second guessing the path i was on. only days after this initial assault, a huge disappointment entered my life when i heard that i wasn't going to be considered for a position i thought was the next logical step. i was now third, fourth and fifth guessing this journey.

throughout this time i was enjoying a friendship with a special someone and was thinking perhaps it was the beginning of my love story. but it was at bible college, when my lecturer was teaching on the book of mark and speaking to us about the story of the rich young ruler, that i was presented with yet another big decision. my lecturer related the story of the ruler to us and said that it was his dependence and desire for his wealth and worldly possessions that held him back from following Jesus - when the push came to shove, the ruler couldn't part with it, the cost of discipleship was too pricey for him. it was here that my lecturer threw out the question to us "so what's holding you back from following Jesus?". instantly, this 'relationship' came to my mind and it was there, that God challenged me..."is it him or Me?".

i can't remember much else of that particular lecture and i soon found myself sitting with my mum trying to process this, and after many tears, words and prayer, i knew what i needed to do...i had to walk away from this relationship. it's funny how easy it was for me to write that just now, but the actual outworking of this decision was completely heart breaking. but the beauty of it is that as i was walking away from him i was running to God, and as my mum said, as she comforted my broken heart, "the sun is going to rise in the morning", and it did. the days that followed, God allowed me a beautiful insight and clarity into His calling on my life and cemented the rightness in this decision and started piecing together my heart.

around this time, my mum and i went to hear a lady speak at a conference and the topic of the message was joy. she focused on speaking about joy not being a feeling, it runs deeper than that. joy is having hope and peace in the valley journeys as much as we have in the mountaintop experiences. on our drive home, my mum said to me that as she was listening to the speaker she was thinking about how relevant what she said was for me. she said that despite all that had happened of late, my joy hadn't left, and quoted to me nehemiah 8 verse 10 "the joy of the LORD is your strength".

life's hardships can weaken us, but when the Creator steps in, His strength is all powerful and has victory against any fiery dart that is targeted for us. situations and circumstances found their way into my life, all of which were intended for my demise, but the joy of the LORD is, was and will forever be my strength, and my tattoo reminds me of this glorious truth.

my joy will never be robbed from me. it remains and i delight in it. and there's more to come...

signed -

~ the life delighter ~